Saved or the Damned...Which one will you be

God...

2010-10-28T05:43:00.000-07:00

God is our only God...There are no other Gods before Him...And I love Him very much...Without God, we mean nothing and we won't even exist....I love Him so very much and so should you. His given my life a meaning...To bring my friends to Christ...I love God

Heart

2010-10-28T05:42:00.001-07:00

Finally...my two seperated hearts has finally become one...Now...I know who I love...and it'll always be you....I love you...that's all

Chang MING!!!

2010-08-29T05:56:00.001-07:00

EVERYONE!! MEET MY AWESOME BEST FRIEND!!! HIS SO FREAKING AWESOME!!! I LOVE THIS DUDE SO MUCH!! HIS AWESOME:):):):):):):):):) EVERYONE THINKS SO:):):):)

Thanks....

2010-08-29T05:55:00.001-07:00

Hey...Thanks for not giving up on me....thanks for everything you've done for me...Thanks...I can't believe that someone like you would actually do something like this for me...I'm really grateful...Thanks...

Camillia Lim!

2010-08-29T05:53:00.000-07:00

Haha...she texted me saying to put something good about her...So well...I will!!! :) She's an awesome person!!! Haha!! SUPER AWESOME!!! She helped me with my problems 28/8/2010 and I helped her on 29/8/2010! Haha!! Ok! We're both awesome people la!!! haha! Thanks Cami!!!

Recently...

2010-08-29T05:50:00.001-07:00

Recently, I've been an idiot....I've been an idiot to everyone...To everything...My life is a living puzzle...I'm confused...trying to put the pieces back together...haha.....the only time those pieces come back together...is when I think of her....Think of being with her...Think of everything...Sometimes...I wonder...is this reality...or a dream...

Damned feelings...

2010-08-29T05:48:00.000-07:00

Made this poem the other night when I was really angry....

I hate all these damn feelings
There are so many things she's not seeing...
I can't believe that I'm still breathing...
Why am I still among the living...

Why is she being such a coward...
She's running away from things that she believed!!??
Why is she being such an idiot!!??
Why is she choosing things she wants to see...

Is love a lie?
Is love happiness?
I know one thing I can't deny...
Love is my happiness...

Two hearts....

2010-07-30T06:03:00.000-07:00

Damn my two hearts...Damn everything to do with my heart...what's happening to me...Am i evolving...Am I changing in to something worst...Am I trying to be someone I'm not...Or am I becoming someone I was but just avoided it....I need some help...I can't stop my heart from all these...I can't stop thinking bout everything we've done....I can't stop this other heart which is taking over this heart....Urgh....I need your help....Just your help...

Nothing like this...

2010-07-20T00:30:00.000-07:00

There's nothing like this feeling...missing you so damn much....loving you till it crosses the border...I love you so much, Cassey...There's nothing I won't do without you and I know that one day, our love will go over the extreme till we can feel each other even though we are far away....I wanna be with you, my love...I love you so much...Screw jealousy...screw all these sadness.....I just want you...and only you....I don't wanna leave you..it would show that I'm such an idiot...I love you so much, Cassey Ng Pui San...I just wanna be with you...Being with my best friends...made me realize how much you mean to me...I love you so much....I will never leave you...I will never ever...I promise to my heart....I've never had this type of feeling...the feeling which loves you so much...and misses you so much...I love you...Forever we shall be...

At the start...

2010-07-09T22:12:00.000-07:00

Right now, at the start, you seem different. I know your different. I hope you never change cause if you do, it'll hurt too much. It is because than I have to let you go if you ever change. I hope you never change. At the start, you are everything I ever need and want. Right now, I begin wondering....you are the one. At the same time, my heart tells me, be careful not to get hurt, Shaun. Haha lol. I'm talking to myself...anyway, I really hope that you are the one. I wanna see what happens in the end...

Feeling good at the same time feeling sad....

2010-07-08T23:13:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. Lately school has been awesome.....I became a prefect and obviously I was really happy!!! When I got the news, Bryan and I hugged each other. Chloe also made it and I'm also happy that Sam made it too. Haha. The thing is...When I got the news, I was happy at first....Cause I have fulfilled the promise I made with Cassey that I would become a prefect...And that's when I started feeling emo...Cause I really miss her alot....Like seriously alot...I've never missed anyone this much....Anyway, the other awesome thing is that Sam and I have been talking a lot nowadays and things are good between us. I am really happy that things have been back to normal. Yea...that's basically what I wanted to write about. People, if you ever miss anyone this much...Just keep thinking of her/him....and he/she will be in your heart forever....

Music...

2010-06-17T22:31:00.000-07:00

Hey. Today I wanna talk about music. Do you know how much music inspires me? It inspires me a lot. Every time I listen to the music, the first thing I look for a music is the lyrics. Whether is it a good song or a bad one. The second thing I look for in a song is beats. That's why I am a drummer. The beat gives me the feel and then my body starts to dance to it. I love music and it is one of the most important things in my life. We need something to hold on to when we are bored or something like that. As we all know, music isn't the most important thing in my life. Without music, I would be all emo and all those crap. But the only thing that would make me really emo even with music, is if my heart is broken again this time but I'm confident it won't cause we both love each other very much....

Loneliness...and a little disregard...

2010-06-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

A little loneliness...and a little disregard....sounds familiar? Without her, I feel so lonely...so down....Like the gaps that feels me has disappeared...Insomia....I have insomia...without her...Close my eyes...there she is...I'm in love....So in love....Will do anything to be with you...breaking all the rules...to just be with you...I can't go on without you...It's hard to move on...I feel so numb without you...there's no meaning of life without you...I love you...please don tell me goodbye...Cause girl I'm in love...so in love...

Freedom...

2010-06-13T19:51:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. Today I wanna talk about Freedom! Lately, my life has been jailed up by my parents and it is seriously pissing me off. I can't even be with the girl I love without sneaking out of the house. I hate this seriously. Why can't this stupid place be like USA!? They are a free country. I wanna be free. I just wanna be free with a little discipline. I wanna be able to do things that I wanna do. I hate this. Everytime my parents say no, I feel like I wanna burst and charge at them. At least let me be free for once in this bloody life of mine without asking me where am I going or all those bullshit. I wanna be free from this chain of mine. I wanna set out to see how the world is. I feel like a freaking puppet...I know a few other kids, Camillia, Sam and others. I wanna be free from this misery chain but if I can't be free, then in my life, I just have to keep sneaking out of this place and try to break this chain of mine.

Pieces...

2010-06-11T22:44:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. You know why sometimes you meet a guy or a girl who is such an emo person back in school or is still in school? Well, don't tease them or anything like that. There could be a reason why he/she is emo. Try to help him/her. They are good people who has been let down. Try to show down some love. Their heart must have been broken to pieces like mine last year but I met someone who has glued those pieces back together...And I love her very much....So thank you.

PS. I AM USING THE CHURCH COMPUTER TO WRITE THIS!!! =D

MCCC today (11/6/10)

2010-06-11T04:40:00.000-07:00

Today in church wasn't as boring as yesterday though today I did fall asleep. haha lol....I had fun cause Jason and Jake were there. Guess what? Before MCCC started, I played badminton with Jake and my whole shirt was soaking in sweat:) I could squeeze it and sweat would start dripping out... It was so awesome. Haha...Still, I felt really alone...and when it was raining, I felt really lonely....I couldn't stop thinking about her...I really miss her and I'm happy I get to see her tomorrow...I love you Cassey....Oh, Jordan has a really funny laugh:) Jesse is awesome:) Keng Ian was emo the whole time. Cami was weird and as normal, I'm always weird

The first

2010-06-10T05:11:00.000-07:00

You know, Cassey, your the first girl who I've missed this much till I tear...That shows how special you are to my heart...And I love you so much because of who you are...And I never want you to change...cause I love you too much...You made me tear cause I miss you so much...I feel like I'm in pieces when I'm not wth you....and when I'm with you, all those pieces start becoming one...A single heart...not little pieces of them...I just wanna hug you so tightly...I love you.....

P.S. Cadie, if you read this, DO NOT THINK IT IS DISGUSTING xD

Cassey, I love you so much.
Omae wa aishitteru, Cassey-san
Saranghaeyo....

Today...(9/6/2010)

2010-06-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. Today was really interesting yet it was really lonely...Jake, Nicholas and I walked to The Club to play badminton with my friends. Haha...and Jake was really tired and complaining alot...Haha...when we reached there, we started playing badminton. We both are kinda equal. My whole shirt was freaking soaked in sweat. Haha...Then I saw Cadie, Kah Yan and Cadie...So then we started to play. Haha...While watching them play, Nick and I were dancing to a song and boy, were we embarrassing ourself:) haha lol...Though I had all this fun, I felt really lonely...cause I didn't get to see or be with Cassey...and I am kinda suffering right now...I had no idea I could miss her this much...I love her so much....Wanted to talk to Cadie bout this but I knew she would be complaining...Haha lol...So I just wanna say, Cassey, I love you...

Being with someone...

2010-06-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

Hey. Do you know that there is someone that really makes me really happy now? Her name is Cassey Ng and eversince that day, I have not, once, stopped thinking about her. I am really in love with that girl and nothing will destroy that love. I really love her so much. I have never felt this way to another girls except her...I really love her alot....And I can't stop thinking about her....not since that day...not since I gave her my first kiss...I love you so much....And everytime when I'm not with you...I feel so empty....I feel like nothing...Like someone who has lost someone so special...I love you alot...And I never wanna hurt you and if I do, tell me...Thanks for everything you've done for me and more importantly...being in my heart...I really love you, my dear Cassey...I don't care if anyone tries to break us apart...I'll prevent it from happening...even if it means breaking my own rule...I love you alot...So much...thanks for giving me your heart and you love...

Guess what...

2010-06-06T06:38:00.001-07:00

Guess what...Bleach really loves to copy Naruto...Well I wouldn't say copy since both of them are in the same department...but still...Have you seen any anime which the main character has the same orange hair as Naruto...No. Well if you have, check when did it come out. Naruto and Ichigo are so alike. They both swore to protect their friends, both have orange hair and demons in them. Sigh...And now, Naruto releases 8-tails and guess what, Ichigo suddenly has a second hollow form -.- sigh...Just saying, that I love both of them:) Just that, I hate Bleach when they keep putting in fill-ins...Which gets really annoying...anyway, Naruto and Bleach, I love you both so much but I'm sorry...I love Cassey more:)

Inspiration...

2010-06-06T06:31:00.000-07:00

Hey guys...I haven't touched my blog for a long time cause well...I lost my inspiration...But now I found it back again...I love this girl...and she means everything to me...I've never miss a girl this much...and love a girl this much...This is the first time I've ever felt like this...She's shown me what a kiss feels like...She has shown me true love...She's shown me everything that I wanted to see in a girl...Don't think negative for some of the viewers...I just wanted to say...Thank you...and I love you so much...Being with you means everything and I cherish every single moment with you...My heart belongs to you...You feel the gaps and cuts in my heart...thank you...

I'm sorry we ended...

2010-05-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry we ended...I didn't want this for us...But you know the reasons...I wish we stayed on...But guess we didn't...I can't believe that my vision came true...And that was one vision I didn't want to come true... I wanted it to be a dream...

2010-04-30T18:14:00.000-07:00

I never knew about happiness;
I didn’t think dreams came true;
I couldn’t believe in love,
Until I finally met you.

Thank you for everything,
And now we're both singing,
In both our eyes,
We have finally found true love.

Even when I'm sad,
And when your mad,
We both still found our love,
Cause we're like a broken curse.

Some short poem I thought of when I was singing..

Bonds

2010-04-30T08:01:00.000-07:00

There are bonds that cannot be broken. For example, the bond that I share with her...Sometimes, there is this person who knows you more than you know yourself and that person has been with you the whole time. Bonds are really important.

Come for you...

2010-04-29T02:17:00.000-07:00

When your crying, I will come for you. When you need me, I'll come for you. Scream my name and I'll come running to you...Out of love....I'll kiss you....I'll hug you....I'll hold your hands...to prove that I love you.....You know why? Cause without your love, I am nothing. Thanks....For giving me a heart. My friends and the one I love, you, are the ones who can make me smile....I love you...SKJE

Maybe this is love-Varsity

2010-04-21T07:14:00.000-07:00

This is one of the songs that actually really explains about me....

Yeah
Just can't get enough
Whoa oh oh
Just can't get enough

Girl look at me
I want to look into your eyes
I get this wierd feeling inside
It's kind of crazy cause
I ain't never had this kind of feeling in my life
And I can't even sleep sometimes
Wake up late at night with you on my mind
And I can't get you out no matter how I try
Cause maybe this is love

Maybe this is love
I feel it in your touch
I just can't get enough
Of you baby wait a minute
I'm saying maybe this is love
There's something between us
I just can't get enough
Of you baby wait a minute
I'm saying maybe this is love

There's something about your eyes, your hair, your smile
Your drivin' me wield
Girl your so beautiful and your all mine
I'm the luckest man in the world
And your so picture perfect
You stole my heart girl it's just so worth it
And I can't get you out my mind
No matter how hard I try

Maybe this is love
I feel it in your touch
I just can't get enough
Of you baby wait a minute
I'm saying maybe this is love
There's something between us
I just can't get enough
Of you baby wait a minute
I'm saying maybe this is love

Maybe this could be
This could be yeah (maybe this is love)
Maybe this could be
This could be
Let me tell you girl
Maybe this could be
This could be (maybe this is love)
Maybe this could be
This could be

Maybe this is love (yeah)
I feel it in your touch
I just can't get enough (just can't get enough of you no)
Of you baby wait a minute
I'm saying maybe this is love (maybe this is love)
There's something between us
I just can't get enough (just can't get enough)
Of you baby wait a minute
I'm saying maybe this is love (oh)
Hey yeahhh

Wait a minute
I'm saying maybe this is love
Wait a minute (just can't get enough)
I'm saying maybe this is love (just can't get enough)

Today...(21/4/10)

2010-04-21T07:09:00.000-07:00

Today...was one of the best day that I ever had with her...She shared most of her problems with me...I held hands with her for quite long...We laughed alot...I know...My love for her definitely grew alot...Cause right now...All I can think is about her...Her smile...her eyes...And everything bout her...She's the best person I have ever met in my whole life...And I wish...I could spend the rest of my time...with her...that would be one of the best wish that I wish would come true...And I hope it does...I don't want any other girl...Just her...I love you, SK

Looking for love...

2010-04-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't posted in a while cause well, I've been busy with alot of stuff...Anyway, have you ever had this feeling that you wanna feel loved? Well...I know I had...Notice the word HAD? Haha...I've found true love...I've found someone who makes my heart beat faster and slower at the same time...I love this girl so much...There are no girls that can match up to her...Well maybe except my future wife...But well...You know...I don't wanna get married if...Well I'm thinking too far...I don't wanna get married unless....You can guess....haha. But...If God has a plan for me....then I'll just accept it=D

Maybe this is love...

2010-04-13T03:39:00.000-07:00

Maybe this is love...Maybe this is what it feels to be truly loved....Maybe...this is how it feels like...I love you alot...thank you....thanks to you...I found true happiness...I love you...You make me smile a lot...and I love you for that...

Problems...

2010-04-10T06:44:00.000-07:00

Hey...I've got many problems but there are many that I can solve by my own. There are two problems now that are really irritating me...There's this person who is really annoying me and I can't stand her bloody attitude and it really is pissing me off. I don't know what is wrong with that person cause she keeps blaming me for no freaking so I had enough of her. I don't want anything to do with that girl anymore. She's bitchy and until she changes her attitude, I don't want nothing to do with her. I also have another problem. There's something wrong with my body. Today, during church, I suddenly had a nose bleed. And this would be like my second nose bleed in my entire life..So what is happening to me...

Mistakes....

2010-04-09T06:30:00.000-07:00

Hey guys...Remember when I said that breaking up with Camillia was the worst mistake I ever made...Nope...Now it isn't....There are many worst mistakes that has come...And also....The worst mistake in my whole life...And I hope it will never ever come true...Is that I will stop loving her...That will be the biggest mistake I will ever make...So I never wanna stop loving her...Not until she stops loving me...Till that day comes, My love for you will continue to grow....I love you alot....So much...

Seeing you cry...

2010-04-09T06:28:00.000-07:00

Seeing you cry...That day when you let your feelings take over you...I promise...I love you...I would never leave you...I promise...If that happens, that will be one stupid mistake I will make. It will be the worst mistake I will ever make in my whole entire life...I love you...I'm not going to leave you...I never wanna see you cry again...Never...It hurts too much...But if you have to...Let your feelings out....But please...Just remember I will never leave you and I love you...my dear love...

Sorry!

2010-04-09T06:27:00.000-07:00

Sorry dudes that I haven't posted anything for awhile! I've been too busy with homework and all those crap! Haha lol! So sorry I haven't posted anything!

When your in love...

2010-03-16T23:17:00.000-07:00

Hey guys...You know when your in love...You tend to do crazy stuff right? Like really crazy stuff...But I think my love her for her has gone over the line...I told her I would throw my future away for her if I were to change school...I love her so much...I would do anything for her...I would protect her....I would sacrifice myself for her...That's how much I love her...If something happens to her...I will never forgive myself cause I wasn't there for her...

Seeing the way our love is....

2010-03-16T01:31:00.000-07:00

I can see the connection between us...I always could...I never want that connection to ever break...I don't want that chain to be torn apart...I want it to remain where it is...Even if you do fall for another boy....I still do not want this chain to be broken cause this chain is the only chain that keeps me in believing in love....After this chain is broken...I'll never understand true love again...I mean it...Never will ever again...But deep down my heart...there's a door....When I went through....I saw you...Videos and pictures of you everywhere...I couldn't sleep the whole night...Couldn't stop thinking bout you...

It chooses you...or do you choose it....

2010-03-16T01:11:00.000-07:00

Sometimes....You think that you can do something but you actually can't but you do it anyway to prove it...You force yourself to do it.....Sometimes...You don't love the person anymore but you force yourself to love her....When you know deep down that you can't.....I'm not saying that I'm like that...I truly love the girl that I really love...But....this posting is trying to say that...Please don't force yourself to love me...I want your true feelings.... I love you so much...but don't push yourself please......

Sometimes you choose a path in life....Sometimes it chooses you...

Wanna be with you....

2010-03-12T03:52:00.000-08:00

I still wanna with you...Since the day we met...There wasn't once that I haven't stop thinking bout you...I'm in love....And I know I have found true love cause I haven't stop loving you since then...Please don't break my heart....Or I might lose sight of everything I once love...I will give up on love....I don't want to lose someone I love so much again....I don't wanna fall back to the darkness....I wanna with you...I want out lips to meet...I want to feel the warmness of your hands...I wanna feel your arms around me again....I want you so much...I want to be with you...I'm sorry if I'm being so demanding...But this is the desire of my heart and me....Both my brain and my heart needs to work together...My heart for feelings and my brain for actions....I want to be with you...This is what both of them are telling me....Even if you said no...And even if it hurts...I don't care...I don't care if I have to suffer for you....I wanna suffer for people that I love...For my best friends...And for you....I wanna be there when you need me....I wanna protect the ones I love...That's the main reason why I became a probate...To make the school a better place for my love ones to have a comfortable environment to study in...To protect the ones I love....I love all of you...And more importantly....you, SK.....More importantly, you.........I will lose control of my rage if something were to happen to you...I love you so much...

Loving

2010-03-11T02:20:00.000-08:00

Hey....This is the first time I ever got rejected...But to me...Eventhough it hurts....I don't want it to get in the way of us...If you still love me...I'll be alright....If you don't, that's when I will fall apart....And break down to little pieces....But I want you to be honest...I don't want to be lied to...I want you to be completely honest with me.....I keep having this dream that you and I will kiss...That we are holding hands......That when we hug....that you and I both will love each other more...I don't want another girl eventhough she is hot or what other crap because she's no you....I want you only....I only wanna have you whom I have love for a long time....The only wish that I wanna have now...Is to be with you every single time.....I love you, SK...I really do.....So much...

Doing something that I should have done a long time ago...

2010-03-08T02:05:00.000-08:00

There is something I wanna tell you...And I'm ready to do it...I've never realized that I could have done it...But now....Since I've heard it...I'm able to do it....And it won't hurt you...the way you answer will either make me happy or sad...But I want you to answer honestly....Because I want your honest opinion...And I hope things will work out...And whatever your answer may be...I hope we will still be the same as we are now...And I pray...that we both will be happy with the answer your gonna say...I love you alot...

What Kevin Lee said...

2010-03-05T02:47:00.000-08:00

There was something Kevin Lee said to me that made me tear...Something really strong...I couldn't control my emotions....In that sentence he said, You just have to try harder...That made me cry...If you wanna hear more....And I am talking bout you...You know who you are k? Call me....Or sms to me to call you...SK

Doing something you wish you could change...

2010-03-05T01:54:00.000-08:00

Hey....Something has gone wrong with everything...I'm afraid of losing her...I had enough of losing people I love...I want her to be with me....But if that can't happen then I just don't know what to do....I wish I could do something to change what happen...This sucks....I really wish...That we could be together again...I fear of what I'm becoming...I really hate it...

Wishing we were together again,
Every single minute, I am becoming less sane...
Every second, I have with you...
I have so much to do to you....

I just wanna hold your hands...
I wish that we never had end....
To me, you are my everything....
And I just want you and I to sing....

With the piano playing,
With you and I singing...
The perfect melody has been made,
And what I want to say has been said....

I hope that I never hurt you...
No, I never wanna hurt you...
If I do, my world will come tumbling down...
And my heart will come tumbling down....

I am really scared of losing you,
I don't know what I'll do without you...
I never wanna lose you....
Or I won't know what to do....

SK, I love you...
I love you so much...
You are one of kind...
And I know it is a sign...

A poem I made while chatting with Kevin Lee and listening to a song When I'm Gone by Eminem...

Piano...

2010-03-03T02:32:00.000-08:00

When I look inside your eyes...My heart beats fast...It feels nice...And when you look at me...I hear a piano playing inside my head...A song of love....And I would just stare at you and not look away...cause I really love you, SK....I just wanna be with you forever more. When I fall asleep, the piano I see is white and your the one playing it...Your singing and playing a love song....and I would be sitting next to you, smiling. And I would just move closer to you and hold your hands and kiss you....Being with you makes me feel like I have something to do in my life...You make me feel alive...and I thank you for that...The piano, your voice and everything you are...are my heart and joy....I love you, SK....

Insomiac...

2010-03-02T02:14:00.000-08:00

You make me have insomia. I can't sleep cause everytime I close my eyes, your there. Everytime I close my eyes, I see us holding hands then hugging. I've got so much to say to you but we don't have enough time. I wish we had more time cause I wanna say all the things I wanna say to you and then deliver a soft kiss to you....You've changed me in to a better person...And I will always love you...I mean everything I am saying right now....The world will never ever be the same if your not here...SK...I love you...

Zero

2010-02-24T02:56:00.000-08:00

This girl I met. She is really special and someone that means a lot to my heart. She is the girl that I always wanna be with her. Do you know how many people are like her? Zero. How many people can do it like her? Zero. How many people are above her? Zero. How many girls do I love? Zero. She is the one that I adore. She is the one that I don't wanna leave. She's the girl that I always wanna be with. There are nobody else that I love....She is the only one I love

Appreciate...

2010-02-22T01:49:00.000-08:00

There are some people in life that we lose and we didn't even appreciate that person...We have dreams about them and sometimes we wake up wondering why are we dreaming about that person. When you have dreams about them, it has to mean something...dreams doesn't just come in your fantasies...What I am trying to say is appreciate what you have...or you will regret not doing it....I know how it feels...cause now...I'm regretting and that I should have done it....

You made me...

2010-02-19T07:11:00.000-08:00

You made me in to a better guy...You made me become a much better guy...You rose me to the light when I was in the darkness...You made the beats in my heart alive...You made me play the drums with a nice beat and with a passion I never had before...You made me become a good guy...You made me in to a person who never wanna let your hand go...I miss you...Everytime I'm with you, I never wanna take my hands away...Cause your the one I love...It feels so good to be with you....All my wildest dreams come true and it involves you....

Finding true love...

2010-02-09T01:33:00.000-08:00

I found true love now...I found someone I really love and that I can never ever stop thinking about her...there isn't even one minute where I have never stopped thinking about her...I would think about the memories I had with her....I wanna say her name...but I can't...Sometimes, I would feel her cold hands against my hot hands....and sometimes, I would get this really awesome feeling that I have never felt before...I just wanna say...SK, Omae wa aishitteru....

Chloe's Birthday

2010-01-29T06:42:00.001-08:00

Hatred...

2010-01-29T05:24:00.000-08:00

I hate some people in my school now...They made her cry...And I wanna payback...I can easily do something to them to torture them or even make their lifes mean nothing to them...I am wishing them dead...I know this isn't good but now...I can't take it anymore...I am losing everything I love....I want everything to be alright now...I want everything to be alright....I want everything to be how they were...

We made it...

2010-01-22T01:10:00.000-08:00

We made it this far...But at end, the string we hold wasn't strong enough I guess....We both still love each other right? Yea...well...I know I do...Cause now, I just can't stop thinking bout you....Your the girl I want...Cause your the one that can't replace anyone else in my life...I wish everyone could be like you....wait...actually I don't...Cause I just want you as your special....I love you alot....When your happy, I'm happy....Thanks for everything....

Today...

2010-01-19T02:20:00.000-08:00

Today sucked...really sucked....Wanted to become a probation but I just guess I didn't make it....I am still going to try out though for the upcoming interview and this time, I really hope I make it. Cause I wanna become a prefect so that I can help the school with the disciplinary problem and also that I can protect her at the same time....She made it to a probate and when I didn't, I felt really down cause I didn't keep my promise...Oh well...I'll have to try even harder for the next upcoming interview...And I really hope I become a probate...I'm praying really hard....And I almost died...Something disconnected in my throat cause I could feel it move and I couldn't breathe...I almost fainted...Jo Yee was really worried for me...After that, I could breathe again!!

What love can do...

2010-01-18T02:10:00.000-08:00

There was a girl and a boy who loved each other and had a very good relationship but there was only one problem, their parents who didn't approve it. Their names were John and Sara. No really! Their names were really John and Sara! I think...Lol

(John calls Sara)
John: Sara, This is John. Can we meet at the park now? I needa tell you something now...
Sara: Hey...Are you alright? You don't sound alright. I'll be there soon
John: Ok. See you there. Love you
Sara: Me too.

(They meet at the park)
(John hugs Sara)

John: Sara, I'm going away...
Sara: What! What do you mean your going away!?
John: My parents are sending me away to another country...
Sara: No! Why!? Why now!? Why John!?

(Sara start crying)

Sara: I don't want you to go...I don't want you to leave me...
John: I'll always be in your heart babe...There will be no one else...I promise ok?

(John gives his first kiss to Sara)

Sara: Ok....I love you John.
John: This is a note I wrote for you. Read it only when you get back ok?
Sara: Ok...

(Sara goes back home and checks the letter)
(Sara opens the letter and was shocked at what was written)

"Sara, I'm sorry...I always hated you...I always wanted to leave this country so that I can seperate with you....I wanted to tell you this, you annoying shit. I hate you! You know that now! I hated every moment I ever had with you!"

Sara fell down on her knees and started weeping a lot! She was crying at what he was saying and she hated him so much...He just couldn't stop crying. She was crying for a few days. Until then, her friend, Amanda, called her and told her that John told her to check her jacket pocket. Sara went to check her pocket and saw an other paper. In the paper, it wrote this.

"Sara, I hope you read this paper before you read the other paper. I was scared that your father would find out. Translate the words ok?
Hate= Love
Always= Never
Seperate= be
Annoying shit= my cherished treasure

I'm sorry if you didn't read this first"

Sara was tearing with joy and knew that he still loved her. She went to call John but when she called him, he was already in the airport...He was going to board the plane 376. Sara cried on the phone and just wanted to be with him. John said he was sorry and that he just wanted to be with her too.

A few hours later, Sara was crying while watching TV. What she saw on TV was horrible because the plane 376 crashed in to the ground.....Sara just couldn't stop crying. Sara went up to her room and just couldn't stop crying. Sara picked up a knife and killed herself with the letter in her hand...

AT 10.00 pm, Sara's father got punched and fainted. The figure went upstairs to Sara's room and saw that she was dead...He took out his mask and it was John. He wanted to tell her that he didn't board the plane cause he just couldn't...John saw Sara lying on the floor and cried a lot...He took the ring that Sar gave to him and regretted each moment he was in the stupid airport...John held Sara's hands and killed himself. They both died holding each other hands....

Probation!

2010-01-16T22:30:00.000-08:00

=D I might become a probate in my school! LOL!!! I know it is hard to believe but well it is the truth! Yeah! I went to the interview and boy...everyone was really nervous except me:) Kah Yan said I was the only one who was calm and relaxed! I felt so cool! Wee!! Lol! I hope the head prefects would accept me! Even if they don't, I would understand:) It just means I'm not ready! I love you Kah Yan, Cadie and most of all Bryan! =D Chang Ming, your a disgrace! Haha loL!

The darkness of the moon...And the light of the Sun

2010-01-16T22:24:00.000-08:00

The darkness of the moon....I love the moon....It has a dark side to it and so do I...The moon controls my emotions...If it is bright...I turn romantic. If it is dim, I feel emo and the need for blood....I dislike the sun...It might bring the beauty to this world...but to me...The Sun is just another type of star...I hate the Sun...It's too bright for me...I prefer living in the darkness....The moon is an inspiration to me....The moon controls mostly everything of me....Heh....

Sleepless nights....

2010-01-16T22:22:00.000-08:00

I needa sleep but I just can't..I can't seem to fall asleep....Everytime when I just close my eyes eventhough it is just for a few seconds, you just appear in my eyes....I miss you so much...I love you so much...I can't get my mind off you....Your the one...I know it....It's just that I don't know whether do you realize it...I love you so much....This sleepless nights...your all I think about....I still love you...I'm not over you...And I'm glad...But I don't know why

Can't stop thinking of you..

2010-01-08T07:44:00.000-08:00

Through all the hard times I went with you, I just can't stop thinking of you now...I love you so much and my heart isn't ready to just let you go yet...Walking past your class gets me thinking bout all the times we had...Sitting in the place where we used to chat during recess...makes wanna cry...But I hold it back....I am not ready to let you go yet...I still love you a lot.......I write songs about you and now the tune is just stucked in my head....

>>>>>>><<<<<<<

2009-12-28T22:52:00.000-08:00

OK forget the title...I have no idea what to put the title as....Lol....Anyway, I just wanna say that HOLIDAYS ARE COMING TO AN END!! YEAH!!!! SO BLOODY HAPPY!! Anyway, I know you all think I must be weird for school to reopen! The only reasons why I am happy is because I will be able to see all my friends yet again! Awesome right!? Holidays were fun but it was boring too...Sigh....this holiday was the worst though....Girlfriend broke up with me and have been heartbroken since then....There was no Christmas tree...Cousins from Australia didn't come back except a black dude called Kenneth Ng who is related to me...Cousins got weirder which was the good part:) Haha lol! Anyway, can't wait for school to reopen...I love you viewers! See ya! Oh yeah, I made stories in this book so be sure to check back at least umm.........well.......I don't know but maybe every Wednesday!

Peace to my heart- Written and compossed by Shaun Kam:)

2009-12-28T22:44:00.000-08:00

Verse 1
When I think I am closer to your heart,
It just turns out that I am not.
Eventhough this love we have is odd,
This love is all we've got...Yeah

(Drums come in)

Verse 2
When your gone, I feel all alone,
Without you here, I feel empty.
Sitting here like an empty bone,
I feel like drowning in the deepest sea.

Bridge
Feeling hurt,
Lost in my memories.
Without you here,
I can't find peace

Chorus
Could it be that your the one,
Who would bring peace to my heart.
If your the one, then your my sun.
Shining brightly in the darkness of my heart.

?X
I need you here,
Cause your the girl that I love.
I need you here,
Cause your like a white dove.
I need you here,
Cause your the girl that I dream of
And I can't stop thinking of you...
Oooh....

Chorus (1x)

HongKong

2009-12-20T01:46:00.000-08:00

Sucks....Went to Hong Kong but I went there to be with my family. The first two days were boring cause it was shopping and I don't really like shopping for technologies since I am not a fan of technology. Haha...After that, went to OceanPark and rode 'TheMine' which is some roller coaster and I wanna tell you that I hate roller coasters!!!!! haha...other than that it was fun:) Lol...the next day, I went to Disneyland which was kinda fun...rode the SpaceMountain which was another roller coaster and it wasn't scary as the mine...lol...haha...and my favourite was Stich!!! It was so freaking funny and they don't do the same show and it is different everytime:) The next day was shopping again and the day after that was going home time:) BYE!!!

Your gone...

2009-12-20T01:40:00.000-08:00

Your gone....your really gone....I still can't accept the fact that your gone...my heart doesn't really hurt...maybe it is because I am kinda used to it...or maybe I just don't wanna accept the fact that your gone...I just don't wanna believe that your really gone..I really love you...But I can't blame you anyway...You didn't want it anyway...You left before I could give you my apology but it's too late cause your gone...I just wanna wake myself up from this nightmare that I have been dreaming lately...I just can't believe...It's hard for me but I told you that day that I prefered to suffer and that was my punishment for getting too attached to you...I am sorry for everything...eventhough it is too late....I should have thought about my actions and I am really sorry.....

Camillia and Jason....

2009-12-03T22:28:00.000-08:00

Yo! I went to church on Monday! It was so damn freaking fun...I just can't remember why I went there! Anyway, Camillia, Jason and I were like hanging out there. Jason took Daniel's bass from Jesse's office! Haha after that Camillia and I went into the auditorium alone. It was really dark so Camillia couldn't see. Fortunately, My right eye can see the dark very well. So in the dark, I quickly off the torchlight and hid. I scared Camillia cause I kept making slow breath through my mouth. Then she got really scared and grabbed my arm....So she didn't go until we opened the door to let Jason in. Then, we went out and Camillia and Jason listened to Jason's ipod! So sweet=D and I went to dance! Haha I sweated quite a lot. Camillia's mom only came around 6 something when we were suppose to go back home at 4-.- But other than that, it was really awesome! Pictures in Facebook!!!

Lonely but not feeling it?

2009-12-03T22:23:00.000-08:00

I am so lonely...So damn freaking lonely.....But for some reason, I am not feeling it....Is it because I have my friends around me or I am just used to it...I doubt it is neither...I am feeling lonely but why don't I feel it....Why....Just wanting to see her again but it is impossible...

Stupid Poem 2 (Girls/School)

2009-12-01T19:51:00.000-08:00

The stupid spoilt blonde bitch, Cadie
Loves to stalk foreign got guys,
Also loves to spend loads of money,
To buy anything that makes her high.

The girl who loves plan is Kah Yan
Though she may be short, she is pretty,
She is strict but she is fun
A girl like her loves to drink tea

The weirdest one among the girls, Jo Yee,
Loves to play with her turtle, Katush,
Loves the letter which is S and T
And despise people who hate Katush.

Maryam who is the sickest,
Loves to have loads of fun.
Although she is not the first,
She never liked to use guns.

The best in english is Shin Yiing,
Her english name is known as Ashlyn,
Although she may be a little mean,
The fear inside of her can be seen.

Chloe is the sweetest and patient,
She doesn't care if she is number one,
But she cares for her friends,
And that is what makes her a good friend!

Stupid Poem- Church

2009-12-01T19:41:00.000-08:00

Jason is my best friend,
And there is no end,
To what we both send,
For we are best of friends.

My retarded friend, Keng Ian,
Eats nothing but chicken,
But for some reason,
He likes it burnt.

Daniel who is the blurrest,
Among the rest of us,
Has the disease ADD,
And likes to be free.

Wanting to be hot is Camillia,
Has a nickname known as Gaymillia,
Her name rhymes with the flower Camellia
And loves the site wikipledia.

Kimberley, the korean freak,
Is not a neat freak,
Listens to Korean songs,
Which are definetely not wrong.

The other korean freak known as Sera,
Rhymes with her sister's name Amanda,
Wanting to go to Korea,
And now she really is going to Korea!

Believing in you...

2009-11-29T16:21:00.000-08:00

I believe in you...I trust you alot....I want us to last for a long time and I want us to love and trust each other....I give my heart to you....I trust you so much that I would lay my life on the line for you...My world is your world...my breath is your breath....My heart is your heart...You owe almost everything of me...The dark side will be something else.....Girl, I love you....You make me really happy....You make me the happiest guy in the world...I know where I will be...right by your side...I love you so much...Today when you go off...I want you to enjoy yourself...I want you to have loads of fun...I will be watching...I love you....

Thinking of you...

2009-11-26T00:34:00.000-08:00

Thinking of you is normally what I do...Thinking of you calms me down. Thinking of you helps me controlling him. Without you, I might have gone insane. I might have lost my mind a long time ago. I want you to put your hand on my hand and say "I love you"...I want you to seal him up. I hate this. I have nearly lost my insanity but I met you and it grew away. Being with you calms me down and you bring joy to my heart. Your the only one I love and will always love......Omae wa aishitteru

I love you

2009-11-26T00:28:00.001-08:00

Just three little words
don't seem like enough
for someone whose smile
still brightens my day,
whose touch can make me forget
the rest of the world.

They don't seem like enough
for someone who's always been there
to celebrate with me
when everything goes my way
and to hold my hand
when my whole world
seems to fall apart.

But even though "I Love You"
can't express the depth
of my feelings for you.
I hope you know what's in my heart.
Because loving you
means more to me
than anything in the world
and it always will.

Flowers.....Death.....

2009-11-23T23:32:00.000-08:00

Flowers are plants that are really beautiful and are also meant to be given to people to show their love. There are roses, cherry blossoms(sakura) and many others. My favorite is sakura because it is a really beautiful flower and I love it. I wanted to give a rose to 'her' since she loves it so much but she refused it because she thought that it might be to risky.....And I agreed but during valentines, I will give it to her and I made a promise to myself. I am not in to flowers but I love Sakura. Sakura is a really beautiful flower and I would love to give it to her one day.
Death.....Death is an really ugly sight and experience in life. I hate death. I hate the word death too. Death is something no human can control but only God can control death. When it is your time, God will take your life away. The thing is do not be sad as when your dying, your soul goes to a much happier place which is heaven. The new Earth will be then made. Some of you might be thinking that I might be crapping here but if you do not believe me, you should go and check the bible. The chapter Revelations shall explain everything. The reason why I wrote this is to show that I love 'her' and the word death....I will protect her with my life. If I die, at least I will die knowing that she will be safe......I love you....

Love, Beats

2009-11-23T06:34:00.000-08:00

Loving isn't wrong. I do not understand why some parents think it wrong to go out in this age. Maybe they had experienced something and don't want us to go through the same thing as they did. The thing is that they can't choose for us whether we wanna go out with someone or not. Loving isn't wrong. The way we do it might be wrong. Some people express love through words and feelings like me. Some express it through touch such as sex and etc. I don't really understand whether is it wrong but love is something everyone has. Beats....Our heart beats to keep our body system alive but if you hear it closely and listen to a song, your heart beats to the rhythm. It also express how you feel. You can't lie to your heart because your heart is the real thing. I am listening to Kaze no Machi ne right now and my heart feels weird. It feels down...it feels that it wants to be with 'her' and I wanna be with 'her'....That's the only thing that is important to me....Being with her and my friends....

Fear

2009-11-23T06:26:00.000-08:00

Fear is something that everyone has in their heart. If you say your not scared of anything, your lying cause you are scared of something. Like you cheated on someone, your scared she/he will find out. I used to say that I was never scared of anything but now I found out what I am scared of and I never want it to happen but I can't control this fear because it is something I have to face. I used to be scared of the dark but now I am not because I got over it. Now I have a new fear. A fear that I can never get rid off. I am scared of being alone. I hate being alone. When I am alone, I close my eyes and imagine that 'she' is there. When I imagine that, I imagine her putting her arms around me. Her hands rubbing from my back to my neck to my cheeks to my lips and then she kisses me. I love that but when I open my eyes, everything just disappears away. I hate that. I hate it when I am alone. When I am alone, I feel like I am noting. Like I am empty. When I am alone, I feel this presence that shouldn't be there. Like something is there and I sense it is a bad aura. I hate it...I hate being alone. Without her, I thought, I am nothing. I am nothing to this world. My friends love me so at least I have gotten rid of a bit of the fear but I am still scared...I am scared of being alone....

In love...and away....

2009-11-18T22:48:00.000-08:00

I am in love. In love with someone really special to me. The problem is that the holidays are seperating us and I cannot see her till next year comes but I will still be really sad as I can't see her during recess now. I hope she will be able to stay back next year. Next year, I just wanna be with her all the time. I wanna seperate my time with my best friends and her. I love her so much but I can't see her. It pains my heart....

The end...

2009-11-17T18:25:00.000-08:00

It's the end of school....Nothing can stop me....I just wanna let it all out...I just wanna shout to the skies while crying....I just can't believe school has ended...It just really pisses me off....Having so little time with the one I love....Having so little time with my friends...It's like saying hi and then saying bye....Watching everyone walk away....really hurts my heart....Taking all the pain....I can't take it....I can't bloody take it anymore.....I just wish that the chains I had with all of them are not going to be broken....So that I can still hear their thoughts and their hearts.....I just wish that....

My love...

2009-11-13T17:06:00.000-08:00

Listening to my heart,
Hoping we will never part.
The piano is playing,
And we are both singing.

We look in each others eyes,
We cant tell lies.
Because we are in love.

When we touch and hod hands,
We can't let go,
We feel the static

I love you,
You love me,
And we're in this together..

You are my love.....

2009-11-13T17:05:00.000-08:00

The faint scent of tears
On my rain soaked cheeks
The warm look on the face
Of travelers
The music from our childhood
Faintly echoes in the background
The memories I hopelessly try to remember
Wander aimlessly
But with these tiny wings, launched by my dreams
Over distant oceans and skies
We'll soar together
To a place where memories never fade
You light up the way for me
In the darkness of night
Oh, that warm look
On your face
I miss you so much

Lunch....

2009-11-13T02:34:00.000-08:00

Hey! After school, I went with 'her'. I really found it romantic. I really love it. I wanted to hold hands with her but I couldn't! While watching 2012, I could not stop thinking about her. Also, I found out more about her. A lot more. I love her alot and I can't believe school is ending and now I can't see her....This really sucks...I am gonna miss her alot. I love you....And I miss you...

1u

2009-11-13T02:25:00.000-08:00

Today, I went to 1u with all of my friends. It was really fun. Haha! Went with Cadie, Kah Yan, Chloe, Maryam, Munn Kent, Bryan, Ken and Mun Fai! I came late because I was hanging out with someone special and I thought it was really romantic just to be with her alone. I really love it. Anyway, I watched 2012 with my friends and it was really sad. I cried half way through the show with Bryan. Well I think he cried cause I could hear him sniffing. Also throughout the movie, I was thinking of her and was thinking if this really happened, I wanna be her when it happens. I was also praying to God! Haha! It was really sad. After the movie, we went to meet up with Cassie and then we went to eat. I drank Soya Bean! Haha! After that, Munn Kent and Bryan went back early. So Mun Fai, Ken and I went to play baseball. Eventually, Mun Fai got thrashed. So sad.....Ken got 2nd and I owned them! Yeah!!!! Teehee! After that, we went to play bowling and it really sucked. At the last game, my finger slipped and it went into the drain. I hated that so I lost to Mun Fai. Ken played bowling for the first time but he kept striking. Damn lame....Haha! At least Mun Fai didn't win or it would have been an embarassment to the boys! Haha! Then we played snooker and I can't believe I lost my skills! I lost to Mun Fai and that really sucked. Cassie joined us as Cadie and the rest of the gang went back already. Cassie was a really sweet and beautiful girl. I kept asking her a lot of personal questions. I bet she is complaining to Cadie already! Haha! After, I just went to drum class!

Shadows....

2009-11-07T07:11:00.000-08:00

Living in the shadows....You pulled me out of darkness....Smiling again...With a really big smile on my face....Insanity? I do not think so. I smile because I am happy again. Finally happy. I am falling down into my shadow but you pulled me up...I thank you and I love you alot!

Exams...

2009-11-02T03:20:00.001-08:00

Hey Dudes! Wont be blogging for awhile due to exams! Sorry!

Dreams...are just dreams.....

2009-10-25T23:35:00.000-07:00

Dreams are just dreams. Nothing more. They can't do anything to you. If it does do something to you, it's your other side. Your other side is not agreeing with you and this is what gives you nightmare. I hate nightmares, not because they are scary or fearful, but it is the images that are in it because it hurts when I love someone but I am thinking of someone else. What is other side trying to say....I don't know...I can't find out....I wanna have a talk with him.....To find out what is he trying to get me to do...But whatever it is, I won't listen cause I love her. There's nothing he can do cause I love her and nothing is going to get between me and her and I want us to last longer. I love her a lot so I will do whatever it takes to keep this relationship going. Dreams are just dreams but visions are real. Visions come true and I know this cause I get them. I get them from God. I love her and and no stupid visions or dreams are gonna hurt us because I am going to follow my heart. If my heart doesn't agree, I will follow my instincts. If it doesn't agree too, I will follow my brains. If that doesn't work, I will follow my feelings and my body. If none of these works, I am just an empty shell. I love you and no one else... I promise...

Chapter 1- Yahiko's past

2009-10-23T03:26:00.000-07:00

There he was, sitting on a bench all alone. Not knowing who he is, what he is and even his memories. The only thing he could remember was screaming sounds from his friends, family and shining swords slicing through them. He has no idea who did it or even why they did it. This is the story about a boy name Yahiko.
Yahiko lost his memories while having his 10th birthday party. He was celebrating with his friends and his family. He was having a hell of a time until back figures appeared outside his window. The electricity went out and the windows were gushed open by the wind. Everyone started screaming and running around, hiding themselves except Yahiko.
Yahiko was just standing there all alone. He was confused on what has happened. Yahiko saw people in black kimonos and was paralyzed by fear. He wanted to scream but could not. He wanted to run but his legs won't budge. Suddenly, his fingers pointed to the black figures and asked everyone else whether do they see them. No one said yes and in a flash, they all died.
Yahiko saw the bodies of his family members and friends. His eyes began to change from black to red. His teeth became sharper and so did his fingernails. Black fluid began to form outside his body but it wasn't ink nor blood but it was energy. One of the black figures swung his katana to Yahiko but Yahiko caught it and snapped it with two fingers.
That certain black figure was shocked, amazed and scared of Yahiko. All three emotions gathered together by seeing a ten-year old boy break a metal made of adamantium which is the hardest metal known to mankind.

This is the beginning of Yahiko...

Feather of love...

2009-10-19T21:41:00.000-07:00

In times of needs, I think about you. When I feel lonely, I think about you being beside me. It works for a short while but then when I want to hug it back, it dissapears. It just turns to dust and vanish. I feel like crying cause I am not there with you and I can't ever stop thinking about you. The thing is that I never ever wanna forget you cause I love you. It's hard for me to not be with you. I am trying my best. I just wanna be beside you when you need me the most. Sometimes, I wonder, when do you need me. I ask that question everyday but I never know until I ask you. Sometimes, I feel like going to you and just throw my arms around you but that can never happen unless I am with you. I want to give you my feathers of love. To prove I love you. Thank you....Feathers of love....represents my heart for you. I love you a lot and I hope you know that. I love you....My feelings towards you will grow stronger every minute.....Watashi aishitteru ni....Watashi beki mamoru ni....

Yume No tsubasa

2009-10-19T20:43:00.001-07:00

Konna ni mo tooku e futari wa kite shimatte
ano koro no
Osanai kimi no hohoemi ni mou kaerenai ne
Kimi ga warau sekai ga suki de
(kimi ga warau hohoemi no soba ni)
Soba ni itai sore dake
Wasurekaketa itami wo mune ni

Time goes by
Toki no nagare wa futari wo kaete yuku keredo
Nakushita mono mo yume miru mono mo
Sono te wo totte omoidasu yo
Itsumo kimi no soba de

Kanashi koto sae oboete wo kitai kara
Kimi no chizu ni
Watashi no tame no PEEJI wo nokoshite wo ite ne

Mirai kara fukitsukeru kaze wo
(Mirai kara no tsumetai kaze)
Kimi wa ano hi shinjita
Ashita wa motto takaku maiagare

Time goes by
Toki ga sugite mo kitto kawaranu mono ga aru no
Todokanai kara mitsukettai kara
Yume no tsubasa wo sagashi ni yuku
Soba ni ite ne...zutto...
Time goes by
Toki no nagare wa futari wo kaete yuku keredo
Nakushita mono mo yume miru mono mo
Sono te wo totte omoidasu yo...

La la la la....

Soba ni iru yo...zutto

Yume No Tsubasa

2009-10-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

Even like this, the two of us came from faraway
We can’t return to your smile
From when you were young back then anymore

I love the world in which you laugh
And I want to be by your side, just that
With pains that I started to forget in my chest

time goes by
The flow of time changes the two of us
But the things that we’ve lost and things that we dream of, too
I’ll take your hand and remember them
I’m always by your side

Because I want to remember even the sad things
On your map
Please leave a page for me

The wind that blows from the future
You believed in it back then
Tomorrow, soar up higher…

time goes by
Even if time passes, I’m sure that unchanging things exist
Because I can’t reach them, because I want to find them
I’ll go search for the wings of dreams
Please be by my side, forever…

I’ll be by your side, forever…

Best friends...

2009-10-17T05:56:00.000-07:00

Best Friends. I can't live without them. They just mean a lot to me. They are the most important people in my life. My life would almost be empty without them. I love all of them. I really love them. I wanna have fun with them where we would sit down and start talking about the future. When it comes to the future, the one who would be the most interested one is Cadie. She always wants to have someone. Lol! She's like "I want my Ross(A character from FRIENDS)!" Haha! It is because we all have our own individual name like mine is Joey Trbianni! YEAH! There is also Kah Yan! The girl who manages almost everything. She is Monica Geller cause she is kind of like her. She is also one of the sweetest who would help Jason and I with problems! There is Jo Yee...Trust me...Whoever dates this girl...would be really lucky but I would pity you at the same time. She is seriously weird. She would suddenly laugh for no reason eventhough I never do anything funny and that is weird....Haha but she is really sweet! Then there is also Maryam who is one of the lesbian in the show and I always forget the name but Maryam is really sweet but also she can go emo for no reason! But she rocks too! There is Shin Yiing! The girl who correct our english when it really sucks! Lol! I pity any boy who dates her too but oh well! Haha lol! Kidding! There is also Jason! My bestest of the best friend! He has been with me since kindargarden! I love that dude cause his always been there for me but sometimes he really pisses me off because of teasing that certain someone with Chris! Sigh...damn bad man. Lol! There is also Munn Kent also knows as Eiffel Tower and the GAY!! Well...he is. Lol! There is also this certain someone! She is really close to me and I love her alot! As in more than you and I think! There is no ending in digits on how much I love her. I love you alot! I love all of you!

When your with me...

2009-10-17T05:38:00.000-07:00

When your with me, I don't really realize anything cause the only thing I am concentrating on is you. I can't hear the music when your talking to me cause your all I think about. I can't even get my mind of you even if I wanted to. There is only 1 thing I always forget to do. I always forget to forget you. That means I can never ever stop thinking about you. Your the only person I ever think about. When your with me, there is no air and there is no gravity too. It's hard to breathe when your here. I love you and there is not much I can do. You said I helped you by saying I love you and I need you but that is not enough. I wanna do more. I wanna be there. I wanna love you even more. I wanna share all your suffering. I want you to love me more than you do now. That is the same thing for me. I wanna love you even more than I do now. To prove it, I just have to work harder. That is my dream. Believe it! I told you once that dreams aren't easy to reach. We have to make it work and the journey there is not easy. It will be the hardest thing for anyone to do. To make our dreams work, we have to work harder. We're started together and we will end together. We're in this together. I love you....Believe it!

Jogging with Bryan!

2009-10-15T23:52:00.000-07:00

Today I went jogging with Bryan at 8am! Haha! We went jogging from Bandar Utama to Kota Damansara! Our legs were burning when we went back! We got lost a few times but then we got back on track! We went to Jo Yee's house first and she had a dog named Dash! Haha! It was really playful! When we left, we were trying to chain the dog so that it won't run out of the house and no one dared to do it except me because they were scared that the Dash would bite them. I dared because I don't feel pain so I just did it. It bit me a few times but thank God that it's teeth were blunt so there are only bite marks on my hands. It isn't pain but just that there were marks. We went to visit Hafiz and Jo Yee led us to his house. Apperently, Hafiz lives near Jo yee and we went to say hi! I called out his name and you could see he was suprised! He showed us the 'finger'! Lol! Then Jo Yee went back to her house. Then we went to visit Kah Yan! We saw on the swing and I got a call from her and she said she saw me. I saw her and I was like "Wow!". Bryan said "Why? Think she is pretty ah?" Then I said "No la. Wondering how did she see us from her house." Well, I don't think Bryan believed me. Sigh....Anyway, we went into her house and she has a cool house and a cool room. Bigger than my house. She has a dog named 'Boh Boh'! I think that is how you spell it. Anyway, it was so scared of Bryan and I because it kept going further when we came near it and it kept barking. Bryan was kinda scared after what happened with Dash! Haha! Kah Yan offered Bryan ice lemon tea! Haha! Then we went back home. Haha! It was so tiring! On the way back home, I kept talking about 'her'! Bryan was like pretending to be disgusted because he didn't like me talking about 'her'! Haha! So then I stopped la!

My love...

2009-10-12T19:35:00.000-07:00

There is nothing I won't do without you. I am not one of this people. I am different. Believe it. I want you to trust me. I want to be someone you can share your joy, pain and everything else. I love you. My love to you is true. Please believe that at least. I have never lied to you. I never have. I love you and that is all. My love to you is true. I hope you can trust me...

Loving you

2009-10-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

Loving you is intentionally what I wanna do. I wanna love you with you with my whole heart. I wanna protect you with my life on the line. I'm sorry that sometimes I can't be there for you but I will try my best. I promise. I love you. I get lost in your eyes....I feel like I am someone when I am with you...Thanks...

Wishes.....

2009-10-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

I really wish you were here. Standing beside me. Holding my hands. I feel cold, lonely and not myself when I am not with you. It's true...I just can't stop thinking about you. You really mean a lot to me. Eventhough it has just been one day since I last saw you, it feels like a whole week and I really miss you. I just wanna be alone with you and just kiss you. This is only one day and this is already how I feel...How am I gonna last for another 6 days. I don't know. When I am not with you...For some reason, time passes slowly...but when I am with you, time passes really fast. I really hate that. I want time to slowdown when I am with you...I wanna spend more time with you...My time with you is limited...And I hate that....But I have to be grateful because I got you....A perfect girl...I would suffer for you...I would die for you...I would die protecting you...I would die trying.....

My heart....

2009-10-06T00:53:00.000-07:00

My heart...I know my heart....It is affected by the moonlight....If the strength of the moon is good....It will affect my heart. If I miss you too much, you appear everywhere.....I can't sleep because everytime I close my eyes, you are there. When I cry because I am not there with you, I see your face. I think of you a lot. When it is in the night, I see your face in the dark. I don't wanna lose you. If I lose my way, I just have to look for you....I just have to close my eyes and think of you. That light will appear and I shall follow it, stepping out of darkness. You are close to my heart. I want strength, to protect the person I love most. You....are the person I love most.....With my whole heart....I will protect you.....I will protect you from any danger...Any harm...If I can't, I will take the blame and suffering and use it as my own.....I love you....that's how much I love you....

I miss you so much....

2009-10-06T00:43:00.000-07:00

I miss so much.....I just can't stop thinking of you.....This pain in my heart.....I can't endure it. It really hurts. I wanna be with you. I need you. Without you, I mean nothing to this world. I am a nobody....But when I am with you, I feel that I do have an existence. I just wanna see you again. When I kissed your cheek, my heart beated very fast. I wanted to just hold hands with you for a long time. I never wanna let it go but just that I have too......I don't want holidays. I want you. I never wanna have stupid holidays cause I will never get to see you. I can only stand to 3 days but after that, I suffer. I suffer a lot. I just wanna see you again...

True....

2009-10-05T05:02:00.000-07:00

When I am with you...my feelings are true towards you...I mean what I feel and say.....Everytime, I just can't stop thinking about you...I just wish you were here beside me.....I always wanted to kiss you....And you wanted to kiss me....But we just didn't feel it was time....But then we agreed....And now it is time....Just come close to me....Open your lips....Close your eyes.....And I shall kiss you....I just wish that we could hug forever...Hold hands forever...I never wanna let you go...I never wanna leave you...I never wanna make you feel alone....I wanna take all your sufferings and make it as my own.....Because I love you....Thanks for everything....I really mean it...Thanks...I love you more than you think....A 1000x....

Be with you.....

2009-10-03T05:28:00.000-07:00

I can't stand this suffering anymore.....I just wanna be with you....I really can't stop thinking of you....When I am not with you...I feel really lonely, sad and a lot of sorrow.....I just wish that there wasn't such a thing as holidays because I wanna be with you....I really do....Whenever I am not with you....Every minute and second....A part of me dissapears....Like it never existed.....But when I am with you....Those pieces slowly comes back....I just wanna feel your hands with mine.....I just can't stop thinking about those images...That really means a lot when you told me.....Now....I am stuck with it and I am happy and sad at the same time. The reason why I am happy is because I can imagine it but I am sad because I am not with you and I really wanna be with you cause you mean a lot to me. I wanna be a better me for you. I want you to love me more than you do now. I just want us to last...Last very long....I know we might not last....But just a long time...That would really mean a lot to both of us....Thank you for loving me

2009-10-02T01:14:00.000-07:00

A Sakura flower is beautiful just like you....When it blooms, it is beautiful...Just like you....I love you because you are like the Sakura flower....So thanks......You mean a lot to me.....Thank you....

Operation....

2009-09-26T23:48:00.000-07:00

Hey.....I might have to go for an operation....MIGHT! Haha. There is a growth in my ear. Well that is what my dad said. We don't really know. It was bleeding. WAS! I don't really know but if there is, I will have to go for an operation...Sad.....

Lonely

2009-09-26T22:43:00.000-07:00

Without you, I feel lonely. Like an empty shell. Even when I am with my friends, I still feel lonely cause your not here and I really wanna be with you. Eventhough our time is short, I treasure every second and minute of it when I am with you. Even when I am with my friends, I still feel very lonely....Too lonely......Like a body without a heart....But when I am with you, I feel that I do have a heart....So thank you...

Holidays.....

2009-09-24T00:02:00.000-07:00

Holidays sucks....I can't be with you when I want to. I hate the holidays. I just want to be with you. Not stuck at home studying and other stuff. I miss you actually. I miss you a lot. When I close my eyes, I just can't stop thinking about you. Your very special to me...Even when your smsing me, calling me, I try to imagine as if you were here but because of that, I get hurt even more because I miss you a lot. I wanna be with you, touch you and feel you. The real you. Not this imagination that I have. I wanna feel the coldness in your hands, touch your skin and be next to you. I miss you too much and I love you. The only thing that is stopping me is the holidays....

Being careful....

2009-09-20T18:01:00.000-07:00

Now, I realize that small things in life can come out with a bang. Something small can cause something so mighty. A small piece of fire can cause a big explosion. Something small like a nail can eventually cause someone to step on it and cause him/her to bleed. All these things, I have learned to be more careful with life. It also taught me not to take time for granted and live life to the fullest because you never know when your time is up. What I am trying to say that every minute I live now, I wanna live it to the fullest. I wanna do something that will remind everyone of who I am. Also, to 'you',I wanna spend every moment of my life with you. I just love you so dearly so that's all. I wanna be with you. I want to spend more time with you and be there when you need me. That's all. I love you and I don't want anything to happen to us. I just wanna be with you because when I am with you, there's no sense of time. When I am with you, I feel like I am flying and that there is no gravity. I feel the time with you are so much longer and that I wish it would be so much longer. I want the time we had to be like Wednesday which feels like a very long time. Like 1second, it feels like one minute. Because nothing brings me down, when your here. I love you....That's all

Leaving....

2009-09-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

Isn't it sad when you have to say goodbye to someone you dearly love? Isn't hard for you to see someone you love die, pass on or leave you without saying anything? It's hard for that person to see him die.....It really is. It pains the heart. You bottle all your emotions and keep it from being seen in the real world. You hide your darker self inside of you and keep the cheerful one outside of you. No one knows how you feel like or what you really are. Only the person you love can tell whether you are hiding it. Only she can tell. That person loves you alot and you have to share that feeling with her. I have done it and it felt really good just to share my burden with someone I love and I can trust. Thank you and you know who you are. When I told you, I had to cry just that I didn't want to. I kept it all inside of me. When you hugged me, I felt so happy. I felt all the emotions going out of me. All the burden leaving me. After that, I had a vision. A vision of that girl I told you about. She told me to move on. She told me it was time to move on. I felt like crying. Those tears weren't tears of sadness or sorrow. They were tears of joy because then I could finally move on and I was so happy. I could finally let go of this burden thanks to you. Eventhough it was suppose to be me, I was happy that I am still alive because if she didn't take my place, I would not be with you right now. So I am really grateful to her and you. Thank you and I love you. Just remember that. I hope you never leave me but the future changes. So whatever visions I get from God, it might change...Who knows...Just hoping it won't. That's all I wanna say. Only three words to tell you from my heart. I love you....In different languages......I love you. Watashi aishitteru ni. Wo ai ni. Sarangheyo. Saya cinta kamu. Mahal kita.... All this are from the bottom of my heart...

Seperated....

2009-09-18T06:09:00.000-07:00

We are seperated. We all have gone different ways. We all were forced to go our seperated ways. We do not love it but at the same time, we do not have a choice. I love the times when we were all in 1p! That rocked but now we are all seperated. Eventhough we are all seperated, we never stopped thinking about each other. We all love each other. Kah Yan, Cadie, Jo Yee, Jason and Taka, you people rock and you still do. Now, I wanna say that I love you guys a lot and that you will always be in memories. I even love 'you'. You know who you are. We are now seperated by the holidays. I miss you so much that I can't stop thinking about you. I am having an insomia cause your not off my mind. I just can't stop loving you, thinking about you. You mean everything to me and if something were to happen to us, I don't know what I would do. After that day when Taka, Qin Jian, Xin Yi and you, I just couldn't stop thinking about you because I really cherish that day because that day means a lot to me. Locked deep down in my heart, this memory will stay here forever. I promise. Believe it. I just wanna say thanks for the memories to all of you. I hope nothing gets between all of us. I love you all a lot. With my whole heart. You all mean something to me. You all are a part of me. Without you, I am incomplete. Thanks....Thanks for everything.